“Can’t live without…”

Care to answer??

Of course it does not apply to all people….so instead of just “people” read it as “some people” 

1. Why do people behave as if they don’t care but secretly do?

2.Why do people want love but never give it?

3.Why are people rude to loved ones and sweet to strangers?

4.Why do people judge others based on their looks even after knowing that whats on the inside is what counts?

5.Why do people judge others but don’t want others to judge them?

6.Why do parents forget that they were kids once?

7.Why do children forget that their parents are people too?

8.Why are people hypocritical?

9.Why do people pretend to be something they are not instead of being who they really are?

10.Why is it that people prefer pity over truth?

11.Why do people seek approval from others to measure their self- worth?

12.Why do poeple who advocate equality don’t treat their servants as equal?

13.Why do fathers encourage their daughters but not their wives?

14.Why is it that if women show too much love they are needy but if men do it they are romantic? 

15.Are we doing anything to make this world a better place to live or leading a self-satisfied life is all that matters ?

 

You are welcome to ask your own questions.

“Blog therapy”

Somehow it seems to me that blogging is quite pretentious…there are things which we always feel but never write about…scared that whoever is reading about us may judge us and form an opinion about us that may in some way lessen our self-worth. Also there is the added pressure of trying to say the right things…trying to be politically correct…not making spelling mistakes…trying to fit in some jokes…impress the readers…or entertain them…which I’m sure many of them do…hell! I do it too!!. Of course with the exception of others who’s blogs are preachy…sending out a message..or try to spread awareness about something they care about…to make this world a less crappy place to live..or those who do it to share their experiences or maybe just for fun. But what I really care about is why am I blogging…what does it mean to me??. Do I wanna share my life with the readers? nope, noone knows what goes on in my daily life.Do I support any cause that I want readers to know about and care for it too? not really…there are many causes but I’m not talking about them.Do I want the readers to know me? I am not a celebrity that strangers would read my blog to know about me!!??…only my friends do…even a few acquaintances who obviously know me.Do I see myself as a writer and want to start somewhere?? no I don’t.Am I doing this for fun??? no…then why the heck am I blogging?. Whatever this life holds is in the journey itself…there is no destination.Logically the destination would be death and I am steering clear of that topic!!.I feel,like many others do, that my life is something different from the others…it is more complicated…I feel lost sometimes…sometimes falling along the way…I need something to hold onto…something to assure me that its going to be ok…something to support me.Sadly,the journey is a solitary one and if I think otherwise I am just kidding myself. If there are friends and family who support me…its because they are physically with me. We may talk daily, have dinner together, share a laugh,a smile, a tear…we maybe in touch with each others lives… but our souls and minds are not in touch.In that sense we are travelling in different paths…crossing different hurdles…tripping on different stones…realizing different things making sense out of life in a different manner.We may physically cross paths with  the same people but the effect is different…depending on our state of mind and our situation.What I am trying to say is that we are alone in this world though there are many around us. And those who haven’t realised this are very lucky…they atleast believe they are not alone…they hold on to that belief…no harm done…what about me who thinks like this?  I am not pitying myself…maybe sometimes…but I try my best not to. I also try my best to be my own support system. I do have great support from many…I dont deny it.It feels good when you have that kind of support..when you can get up after a nasty fall by holding on to someone’s kind hand or encouraging words.But it is upto me to walk the walk…to keep the next step…no use if people are supporting you for nothing right??  Well I am so unsure of my journey…am I treading the right path? .. with my shortcomings ripping my courage apart…my emotions fighting logic…and my indecisiveness obstructing my growth..how do I deal with all this? what do I hold onto? The kind of holding onto that I am talking about needs to be done by myself….help from myself to myself. Blogging is one way that helps me.I write or will write about things which I am trying to figure out..deal with…and accept.It is more for me than for the others. Its like therapy.This path may bring or remove joys or sorrows,people or materials, but I will be constant.And I am the one who has to support myself all along.When I die the journey ends.As long as I am here I want to have a realistic journey with no illusions…and selfish that I am with a good dose of ego I want to have a good journey and be proud of it…I want my life to be worth something…and for that to happen I am not going to wait for someone to support me…I am helping myself.Do you remember the saying “Self help is the best help” ….I realised its true meaning now.And making all of you read it,makes it seem important and serious to me…or so I would like myself to think

“Worrying too much”

I am the typical “worrier”. My day starts with a worry provoking thought, that stays in my mind the whole day . It rarely leaves me alone , keeps waiting in the backof my mind, ready to announce its presence in case i find a moment where it does not exist. My worry for today was an upcoming test in which I had to do well,unless I wanted my final score ,in that subject, to be compromised.As the alarm went off at 8 A.M (which had been reset from the earlier 7 A.M ) , the first thought that came to my mind was that, I had only a couple of hours to study considering my penchant to waste time on other things which I consider necessary to keep me sane… such as making myself a large cup of coffee first thing in the morning which I sip while reading the newspaper, follwed by breakfast with a few of my favourite people ( there presence is a must!) so I tune in to my favourite Tv shows. After that I really don’t know how time flies and when I finally decide to study, somehow my day is “halfed” and my worries “doubled”. Afternoon arrives in all its glory and my stomach reminds me that I am hungry. After that I am already drowsy! which only goes to say that light lunches are subjective!! and in no way do they promise not to effect us like a heavy lunch.An hour I’ll sleep,it should be enough…or so I think.My faithfull alarm, wakes me up at the hour I tell it to, but am I faithfull to myself? Convincing myself that I will stay up longer that night to make up for all the sleeping and waste of time, I allow myself an extra hour of blissfull sleep. I get up with that nagging worry again!! I still haven’t finished preparing for my test! I get up,make myself a cup of tea(which I am sure is another way of putting off studying) and open my books.Its 5.30 P.M and I want to know how much my friends have studied just in case one of them has not done much and I can feel better about myself!! but I refrain from calling in case they all have prepared well( why add to my worries??).All this thinking and staring at my open but unread book has wasted a lot of time and I decide this worrying is getting me nowhere so I should take a walk or visit a friend ,who doesn’t have a test tomorrow.Its 7 P.M and I am back home, my sister is watching Tv and What are the chances!!! the movie I have been dying to watch since ages is coming!!! What the heck!! This is more important…who knows when it will be telecast again!! I must watch!. An hour and a half later , the movie ends and reality begins. I have temporarily satified my “entertainment” needs but my responsibilties lay ahead waiting to be completed. My planning begins,I still have untill midnight when my brain stops processing things that brings it no joy.That leaves me with hardly any time to finish studying. I had decided to get a very good score, which would happen only if I spent hours studying. Now that I had no time ,either I had to settle for a low score or try to fit in everything within a few hours. Panic Attack!!! God!! help!! Deep breaths…what would my fav superhero(Superman by the way) do? would he give-in to the pressure and give up?? No of course not !! he would face the situation bravely and come out tops!! fine let me try his way…All I need is some damage control.Its 9 P.M , I switch off my cell, hand over my music player to my sister and finally sit to study.An hour later I’m sleepy and dozing on my pile of books!!! Now did I study??? Nope!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I WAS WORRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! Countless experiences of the similar kind have set my “worry clock”( I know all this is going to happen that is why I woke up with a worry) and I usually fall asleep with the same worry!!! ….This is not the end…

 

An hour later, I was woken up to have dinner…If only they had allowed me to sleep!! I would have worried about the test tomorrow!!now I’m awake and worrying again!!! I switch on my cell to message my friend…to find out which topics have more chances of appearing in the @#$%^* test.No sooner did I start typing the message than my cell vibrates…its a message…I exit from my text to read the incoming message…its from one of my college-mates…it says college will be closed tomorrow on account of some bandh….Yippppppppeeeeeeee!!!!! I dont have to worry about my test anymore!!!! God really exists!!! Nothing to worry about!!! Alls well in the world!!!! Yahoooo!!!! ….this too is not the end…

 

Earlier that day a friend of mine informed me that I had shortage of attendence (58% ,minimum required is 70% atleast) in one of the subjects(Java). I couldn’t afford to waste time worrying about it at that point of time because I had the impending test on my mind. Since the test was postponed, this forgotten fact, popped in my mind out of nowhere, cutting short my joy and slowly pulling me towards the dreaded feeling-”worry”. I was back to square one-worrying -what the penality for such a shortage would be, will I have to bring my parents to meet my Head of the Dept? will have have to pay a hefty fine?? With this worry to keep me company I went to bed.

Tomorrow is a whole new day,full of new opprtunities,new things to do and learn…a holiday that too…i can surely study ….but i am sure ,I am going to spend the day worrying about my attendence or who knows I may have something else to worry about…which may have skipped my mind….

Now i’m worrying that I may spoil the day worrying too much!!!…lol